March Madness... and a few other things!

Right now it seems the whole world is consumed by two very different things: The search for the missing Malaysian jetliner and the NCAA basketball tournament, otherwise known as March Madness. We in the nursery industry are familiar with our own brand of March Madness, that of trying to sell plants as hard as we can go while dealing with typically fickle weather. From the feedback I’ve been getting it would seem that we’re all pretty busy at the moment, and that’s a very good thing. My late brother used to say he hoped we got down to having just one plant left to sell, with two people fighting over it in the parking lot. Here, here.

The deal with the Malaysian jet is one of the strangest things I’ve seen in a while. I can only imagine how the families of the passengers and crew must feel, and I’m beginning to fear we’ll never know exactly what went wrong. It seems pretty obvious that it wasn’t mechanical failure, but terrorism seems rather unlikely too. Terrorists just about always want the whole world who did it, and why, and that’s missing here.

I have heard some pretty interesting theories put forth about what might have happened to flight 370. One guy, on CNN I think, mused that maybe it had flown through a black hole. Seriously. And to think I grew up believing you had to be at least semi-intelligent to be a newscaster. Myth buster indeed.

This statement got me to thinking about some of the stupid stuff I’ve heard people say they thought over the years. To be fair, I’ve said and thought a lot of dumb stuff too. But that’ll be another topic for another day. In no particular order, here are some of my favorite doozies:

1. If you pick up a calf every day of his life you will be able to lift a full-grown cow. Yes, I had a young man tell me this at work one day. His rationale was that there was no way a calf could gain weight so fast that you could lift him one day and be unable to do it the next. I didn’t even try to explain it to him. Ignorance is fixable but stupidity like this is a different matter altogether.

2. You can’t lift a midget because they can somehow make themselves very heavy. Obviously this wasn’t the same guy mentioned above, but the gentleman I heard say this was as earnest as he could be. Just as wrong, too. It kind of makes you wonder if he ever tested this postulate.

3. If it thunders in February you’ll have frost in April. This one is difficult to argue because, well, we do often get thunder in February and we do often get frost in April. It’s just a matter of cause and effect. In a similar vein I had a friend tell me last fall that we were going to have a tough winter because we didn’t have even a single hurricane last summer. I have no doubt whatsoever that he is now telling everybody he meets how he saw this one coming all the way. One of the worst things you can have happen is the apparent validation of lunacy like this. Then it becomes gospel. Because my mama taught me some manners I managed just nod and say “Hmmmm.” What I really wanted to say was, “That’s preposterous”, or some less refined version of the statement, such as the one that references bovine organic fertilizer.

4. The Hank Johnson Congressional hearing. If you haven’t seen this on YouTube you have done yourself a great disservice. I won’t spoil the scene for you, but evidently Congressman Johnson missed a couple of days of 5th grade geography. Or maybe the whole 5th grade. If this genius got elected for being among the best and the brightest of his district, not only would I not want to live there, I’d hate to even drive through there. Do yourself a favor and do a YouTube search of Hank Johnson, Guam. It’s hilarious - until you realize this guy is up there making laws that affect all of us. It gets un-funny in a hurry if you think about it like that.

I could go on for days with these things, and I’m sure you’ve heard a million of them too. I just hope you haven’t heard too many of them from me.

As for business, we’ll be able to start adding more material to the availability list as the weather continues to warm up. Late March and most of April are what constitute “crunch time” for all of us. I hope your spring is a barn-burner. And maybe you’ll have folks fighting in your parking lot too.

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